Ah, yes, Infomercials. This stuff is serious business. Sometimes, it's the best thing on TV despite the fact that you probably have over 600 channels to choose from.
We either find ourselves tempted to buy the crap, or crap our pants just to think they expect us to buy their products. And speaking of crap, let's take a look at this infomercial product:
Pretty darned good chance. Then again, if we can make toothbrushes for hard to reach places, why not this thing? Makes the perfect stocking stuffer.
Ever been in the middle of a round of golf when it occurred to you that you were on the verge of pissing your pants? Sure, we've all been there. Well, we've got great news for you! Introducing the Uro Club!
Yes folks, the Uro Club is the original secret weapon for any male golfer, and provides you with a convenient, (cough) discrete way to empty your bladder right in the middle of the golf course, without violating any public exposure laws (when done correctly). People will assume you are simply washing your balls (golf) under that towel thingy there, and will have no idea you're actually taking a piss. Or, sway a little and make it look like you're taking a practice swing. You probably do that already when you pee, right?
Perfect gift for dad. One size fits all.
Lions and Tigers and "Tiddy Bears"-Oh my!
The Tiddy Bear, (not to be confused with the "Teddy Bear") was designed to keep the seat belt from digging into your shoulder and chest. It's cute and soft, and it's hard to believe people buy these things but evidently they do. The product is real, and the infomercial, well, it's downright hysterical.
Oddly enough, the Tiddy Bear averages 3 stars from reviewers on Amazon. One reviewer had this to say about the Tiddy Bear:
"I am the wrong heighth for seat belts in our SUV. Now I find that most women have problems with seat belts cutting across their upper body. The constant pressure and rubbing up/down of the belts can cause serious problems for women's health. I not only have two of these in our car, but I have given them to all the women in our family. The latest purchase is for a niece that just got a new car. They are very reasonably priced, very practical, and cute. What more could anyone want?"
What more could anyone want? Besides the Tiddy Bear? Once you get the Tiddy Bear, that's it, you won't be wanting anything else ever. The damn thing will complete you. You won't even need your significant other at that point, that's how awesome this thing is. No more romantic fantasies, or wishing you could win the lottery, your Tiddy Bear will bring you a sense of fulfillment you never dreamed possible. Seriously, I would never joke about something like the Tiddy Bear.
Order two, and they'll ship you a pair of these "bear tiddy" thingies.
Man, it's a good thing somebody invented this product. Now you can eliminate odors coming from places other than your armpits. The product is designed to stop odors before they start. And if you call now they'll double your order, so it's a good time to stock up. Lord knows you'll be using a ton of this stuff.
Yes, that's right, we all crave to hear cheering audience sound effects, overdubbed with a goofy sounding voice saying things like "Hoooooooorrrray for you!"
A great product to use when:
Toilette training your child
Someone frigs up
Someone does something really terrific...or better yet when they ramble on and on about having done something terrific
You've accomplished something great
You're trying to accomplish something great
Better grab one of these quickly before they're all gone! No, Really!
True, we should never stick anything smaller than an elbow in our ear canals. When using Q-tips, we should be very careful to clean just the outer ear leading to the ear canal. We've all heard it, but none of us do it. Basically we use common sense not to drive the Q-tip through the ear drum. Then again, when's the last time you heard of someone being rushed to the emergency room because of an ear cleaning accident?
Turns out we don't need to clean our inner ears anyhow:
According to Dr. Rob Hicks. The inner ear has it's own system for staying clean.
That's good news, too, because it also means we don't need to waste any money on this foolish product!
Now people with bald spots have a cheap alternative to expensive surgery, or ridiculous looking toupees. The product is a spray powder that builds on itself to cover bald spots, and it doesn't rinse off. (so be careful not to get any on your face, or you may end up needing to spray on a beard and mustache as well.)
Is this Saddam Hussein?
Looks like this guy tried regular spray paint to see if it would do the same thing as GLH.
The life call commercial was never meant to be funny, and the subject matter certainly isn't. But it made us laugh pretty good when it came out. Perhaps because the old lady that says "I've fallen and can't get up" reminds us of our own grandmother, trying to act in a TV commercial?
I've Fallen, and I can't get up!
Nothing says "I love you" more than a Chinese breast vibrator!
It's the perfect gift for her on her birthday, valentines day, mother's day, Christmas,
or any old day just because!
You can see how it works here:
10. The "Potty Putter"
This is beyond words, it's so awesome. I'm almost speechless:
They say you can become an expert at anything if you give it 15 minutes a day. No doubt you'll become a world class "putter" in no time flat with this thing. Beats reading the newspaper here hands down. What golfer wouldn't be thrilled with this thing? You'll be the envy of every house guest that uses your toilette!
My only question is, why didn't they call it the "Shit'n shoot" ?
We either find ourselves tempted to buy the crap, or crap our pants just to think they expect us to buy their products. And speaking of crap, let's take a look at this infomercial product:
1. The Comfort Wipe
Is this a shitty product?
(The look on this guys face is killing me here:)Pretty darned good chance. Then again, if we can make toothbrushes for hard to reach places, why not this thing? Makes the perfect stocking stuffer.
Learn more about this incredible product in this video:
2.Uro Club
Ever been in the middle of a round of golf when it occurred to you that you were on the verge of pissing your pants? Sure, we've all been there. Well, we've got great news for you! Introducing the Uro Club!
Yes folks, the Uro Club is the original secret weapon for any male golfer, and provides you with a convenient, (cough) discrete way to empty your bladder right in the middle of the golf course, without violating any public exposure laws (when done correctly). People will assume you are simply washing your balls (golf) under that towel thingy there, and will have no idea you're actually taking a piss. Or, sway a little and make it look like you're taking a practice swing. You probably do that already when you pee, right?
Perfect gift for dad. One size fits all.
Quote
magine, giving the appearance of taking a practice swing, while both privately and confidentially, you are able to relieve yourself without any embarrassment! Floyd E. Seskin,M.D.
3. The Tiddy Bear
Lions and Tigers and "Tiddy Bears"-Oh my!
The Tiddy Bear, (not to be confused with the "Teddy Bear") was designed to keep the seat belt from digging into your shoulder and chest. It's cute and soft, and it's hard to believe people buy these things but evidently they do. The product is real, and the infomercial, well, it's downright hysterical.
Oddly enough, the Tiddy Bear averages 3 stars from reviewers on Amazon. One reviewer had this to say about the Tiddy Bear:
"I am the wrong heighth for seat belts in our SUV. Now I find that most women have problems with seat belts cutting across their upper body. The constant pressure and rubbing up/down of the belts can cause serious problems for women's health. I not only have two of these in our car, but I have given them to all the women in our family. The latest purchase is for a niece that just got a new car. They are very reasonably priced, very practical, and cute. What more could anyone want?"
What more could anyone want? Besides the Tiddy Bear? Once you get the Tiddy Bear, that's it, you won't be wanting anything else ever. The damn thing will complete you. You won't even need your significant other at that point, that's how awesome this thing is. No more romantic fantasies, or wishing you could win the lottery, your Tiddy Bear will bring you a sense of fulfillment you never dreamed possible. Seriously, I would never joke about something like the Tiddy Bear.
Order two, and they'll ship you a pair of these "bear tiddy" thingies.
4. Aspray
Man, it's a good thing somebody invented this product. Now you can eliminate odors coming from places other than your armpits. The product is designed to stop odors before they start. And if you call now they'll double your order, so it's a good time to stock up. Lord knows you'll be using a ton of this stuff.
5. Cheers to You!
Wow, this one makes the perfect gift! Just think how thrilled your friends or relatives would be to receive this awesome collection of "cheering audience" sound effects!Yes, that's right, we all crave to hear cheering audience sound effects, overdubbed with a goofy sounding voice saying things like "Hoooooooorrrray for you!"
A great product to use when:
Toilette training your child
Someone frigs up
Someone does something really terrific...or better yet when they ramble on and on about having done something terrific
You've accomplished something great
You're trying to accomplish something great
Better grab one of these quickly before they're all gone! No, Really!
6.WaxVac
Ouch!
True, we should never stick anything smaller than an elbow in our ear canals. When using Q-tips, we should be very careful to clean just the outer ear leading to the ear canal. We've all heard it, but none of us do it. Basically we use common sense not to drive the Q-tip through the ear drum. Then again, when's the last time you heard of someone being rushed to the emergency room because of an ear cleaning accident?
Turns out we don't need to clean our inner ears anyhow:
According to Dr. Rob Hicks. The inner ear has it's own system for staying clean.
That's good news, too, because it also means we don't need to waste any money on this foolish product!
7. GLH spray on hair
Ronco Strikes again! (Only they usually have good products).Is this Saddam Hussein?
Looks like this guy tried regular spray paint to see if it would do the same thing as GLH.
8. Life Call
The life call commercial was never meant to be funny, and the subject matter certainly isn't. But it made us laugh pretty good when it came out. Perhaps because the old lady that says "I've fallen and can't get up" reminds us of our own grandmother, trying to act in a TV commercial?
I've Fallen, and I can't get up!
9. Top Charming by Winarco
Nothing says "I love you" more than a Chinese breast vibrator!
It's the perfect gift for her on her birthday, valentines day, mother's day, Christmas,
or any old day just because!
You can see how it works here:
10. The "Potty Putter"
This is beyond words, it's so awesome. I'm almost speechless:
They say you can become an expert at anything if you give it 15 minutes a day. No doubt you'll become a world class "putter" in no time flat with this thing. Beats reading the newspaper here hands down. What golfer wouldn't be thrilled with this thing? You'll be the envy of every house guest that uses your toilette!
My only question is, why didn't they call it the "Shit'n shoot" ?
